In an adolescent’s life, there are many transitions that teach and support them as they move forward. One of the most significant is the move from school to further education or work. At this stage, you’re often considered an adult, expected to make your own decisions and cope with daily life. However, for neurodiverse individuals, this transition may look different—not wrong or bad, just different.
Neurotypical adolescents face similar challenges, but they may approach them in their own way. You’re not alone in navigating this transition; everyone tackles it from a perspective they believe will work for them. The first approach doesn’t always go as planned—there will be bumps, detours, even breakdowns. The key is to learn from them, make adjustments, and keep faith that you can do this.
Parents: Setting Goals and Allowing Growth
If you’re a parent of an autistic or neurodiverse child, establishing realistic, concrete goals and expectations is essential for a successful transition plan. While you want to set achievable goals, don’t forget to challenge your child—they may surprise you with how much they can accomplish! Remember, transition applies to parents as well. You need to be prepared to let your child learn through experiences, including failures and successes.
Family Support
For the adolescent, it’s not just you going through this transition—your family is also involved. They’ve been supporting you your entire life. Sometimes they help from a distance, giving you more independence. Regardless, you have a whole team dedicated to seeing you succeed.
Starting Early
Don’t wait until right before you head to university or begin a new job to prepare. Start when you begin considering these options. If you’re someone who dislikes change but loves the idea of going to college or starting a job, think about all the practical skills you’ll need:
Cooking a basic meal
Choosing a utilities plan
Making a doctor’s appointment
There’s a lot to learn. While you’re eager to move forward, it can be overwhelming. Your family may instinctively want to protect you from every challenge. But the desire to grow and move on is human nature—acknowledge it and work with it.
Communicate Your Goals
If you’re the adolescent, clearly (and calmly) state your intention: “I want to do [X].” Parents, your first instinct might be to say “no” to protect them, but resist that urge. Instead, listen to their goal.
As a family “team,” break down the big life-changing goal into smaller steps. Ask:
What will it take to achieve [X]?
Which specific tasks or goals do we need to set?
How can each member of the team contribute to these goals?
When everyone feels comfortable with the plan, that’s when you, the adolescent, can take the lead and move forward. Your team can stay on the sidelines, ready to offer support as needed.
Using the SMART Method
A helpful tool for structuring these goals is the SMART framework:
Specific
Clearly define each goal.
Break down the overall goal into smaller, manageable steps.
Discuss how these steps can be achieved.
Measurable
Set a time frame or a clear action step.
Determine what “completion” looks like (knowledge gained, tasks finished, etc.).
Achievable
Make sure each goal is realistic.
Parents: support your adolescent, but let them lead or try on their own. If something doesn’t work, revisit the plan together and adjust.
Relevant
Ensure each smaller goal aligns with the overall objective.
Stay focused—avoid adding extra tasks unless they’re truly necessary.
Time-Based
Set a deadline or a clear marker for when the goal is achieved.
The entire team should agree on when each step is complete.
This process helps the whole family grow. Parents, remember it’s not your job to do everything for your adolescent. Your role is to teach, support, and encourage them to learn independently. For the adolescent, embrace the journey—this transition is happening for you, not to you.
Parents, keep “sitting on your hands” if you must. Offer guidance and let your adolescent try, fail, and try again. That’s how they’ll gain the confidence and skills they need.
Transitioning from adolescence to adulthood is a significant milestone. With clear goals, open communication, and a supportive team, you can make this process smoother—and more empowering—for everyone involved.